I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
