if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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