Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
