I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
