She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
