Will you blow on my dice?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
