I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
