I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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