oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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