Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
