so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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