16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
