i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
