I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
