brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
