The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just google imaged poop.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
