you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
