Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
