Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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