A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
