your room smells of hookers.
And success
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
