Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
