Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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