Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
