and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
