did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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