Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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