I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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