Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
