Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
