I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
