Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
