super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
