We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My ass is underappreciated
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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