will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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