Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
