Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
