i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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