I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
