wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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