if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
