She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
