You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
