strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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