exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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