you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
