a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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