What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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