I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
