I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
